Jar Of Hearts
by WritingFromTheSoul
Summary: Ziva thinks about recent events. Crappy summary, I know. Songfic to Christina Perri's "Jar Of Hearts". Dedicated to Alli Roth Foreign Music Lyrics


**Written for ep. 9x13 "A Desperate Man"**

**This songfic is dedicated to Alli Roth (Foreign Music Lyrics).**

I sat in the empty park. Night had fallen, and the stars were shining bright above me. The cold air bristled against me, sending a shudder through my body. I pulled my coat closer around me, and felt something nudge against me. I reached into the pocket.

I pulled the empty ring box from so long ago from my pocket. I turned it over in my hands. It was a pretty, luxurious black box, but, inside it was empty. Nothing but the black velvet. Just an empty box.

Just empty promises.

_You know I can't take one more step towards you  
Cause all that's waiting is regret_

Empty promises that were so beautiful. A family, marriage, kids…but the promise was empty.

_And don't you know  
I'm not your ghost anymore  
You lost the love I loved the most_

"He lost the love you loved him for." I whispered to the wind. The tree leaves rustled in reply, and I smiled. Sometimes silence was most comforting.

_I learned to live  
Half alive  
And now you want me one more time_

I let a tear fall from my eye. How could he just come back like that and expect me to MARRY HIM?

Suddenly, my grief turned to anger. Who does he think he is?

_And who do you think you are  
Running 'round, leaving scars  
Collecting your jar of hearts  
And tearing love apart_

He had hurt me in the worst way. He had promised me love, but, underneath the words, nothing laid there. Underneath the velvet, all that lay there was the black cushion.

_You're gonna catch a cold  
From the ice inside your soul  
So don't come back for me  
Who do you think you are?_

I remembered that night at the restaurant. I was waiting for three hours in that damn restaurant. He didn't even bother to pick up the phone.

_I hear you're asking all around  
If I'm anywhere to be found_

_I am stronger now, _I reminded myself. He will hurt me no more.

_But I've grown too strong  
To ever fall back in your arms_

The moon sadly smiled down upon me, his beam lighting the dew-ridden grass. The cold wind blew again, but softer. It was like he understood.

_I learned to live  
Half alive  
And now you want me one more time_

When he left for two months, I didn't even get a phone call. Not even once did he bother to comfort me, to tell me that he loved me.

_And who do you think you are  
Running 'round, leaving scars  
Collecting your jar of hearts  
And tearing love apart_

The Ray before was not like this one. This Ray was cold, unloving. I didn't know this Ray.

_You're gonna catch a cold  
From the ice inside your soul  
So don't come back for me  
Who do you think you are?_

This new Ray was dead, the old, loving light in his eyes gone. I don't know what the hell happened to him on that mission, but it changed him forever.

_Dear, it took so long  
Just to feel alright  
Remember how you put  
Back the light in my eyes_

What happened to the wonderful light that lifted me when I saw him?

_I wish I had missed  
The first time that we kissed  
Cause you broke all your promises_

He broke all of his promises.

Even of the one that he loved me.

_And now you're back  
You don't get to get me back_

He will never hold my love in his hands again. He will never break another heart.

_And who do you think you are  
Running 'round, leaving scars  
Collecting your jar of hearts  
And tearing love apart_

I stood up, and walked over a small tree by the bench. It was young. It only had sprouts of leaves beside it. A new tree.

A new love.

_You're gonna catch a cold  
From the ice inside your soul  
So don't come back for me  
Don't come back at all!_

I brushed away the fresh, soft dirt surrounding it. I got one my knees and sat the small box in the area I had worked on. I covered up the beautiful, tiny-yet-empty box. In my heart, I covered up the memories of Ray, along with it the pain.

_Who do you think you are?_

_Who do you think you are?_

_Who do you think you are?_

"Goodbye, Ray." I whispered softly, and I slipped away.


End file.
